Back in the UK after 20months

The end of the line. Almost 2 years of travel coming to an end. That’s all folks. Fuck that not living in England. Give it a month or 2 earn some dollar and get the fuck out of there. Have to get a tram and a bus to airport. Why are airports always such a bitch to get too. But before that obviously me and sassy have to get a beer before we go. Smoke the last of my darts. Took an hour not too bad. Only 600huf, so cant complain. Fuck load cheaper than a taxi. Passed the time in the airport watching a woman assemble mannequins. That was a first. So you know travel does broaden your horizon. The mannequin is now staring at me so I may have to move. Nip to duty free pick up a bottle of Palinka for my pops. Kind of expensive but might as well waste the last of my forint. The currency is fucking useless. 1euro is 310forint. Like that shit is complicated to work out. 2 planes taking a total of 7 hours for me to get home. Fuck that’s shit. Pissin lay overs. In Hamburg as well.  And of course I get the fat cunt sat next to me. Potato head stuck on a blob of fat. Oh god the wife looks like a heart attack. And once again the headphones I acquired don’t work. Considering papa smurf paid 120euro for this flight it is wank.  Piece of bread and a Haribo isn’t quite cutting the mustard. Old mate inhaled his. Not sure if he even chewed. Pretty sure he’s a mong, been fannying around for 10mins trying to hang up a little bag. Dropping it, trying to pick it up, getting between the tray table and his stomach. Couldn’t even go for a piss cause the fat fuck had fallen asleep and wouldn’t wake up. Some odd people on this flight. Someone is just videoing clouds. A cloud enthusiast. Sitting in a German airport for 4 hours. Not a lot to do but sit and wait. And wait. Walk around then wait somewhere else. All the fun here. Some more passport checks. Then wait till my plane arrives. Only 2 more hours to go. Dear God this is torturous. Was a dick and forgot to take my book out of my bag. Fucking nothing to do. Bored out of my nut. Really irritated that I didn’t brush my teeth either. All about oral hygiene. Finally made it. Now just this flight a tram, another tram then a walk home.  My fault really did say I don’t need a lift home. So I had to get a tram for almost 2 hours and then a 20min walk. Back home see the parents. Eat some food and get back to normality. Don’t like it already. I’m leaving as soon as.


Occasionally I get hangovers

Woke up in a state. Looked like a complete junkie. Especially with my eyes red as fuck. Definitely had the aesthetics of a heroin addict. Stumbling down the street to get a Chinese with sassy. It is a decent Asian food place. Back to basement to smack out for the rest of the day or at least till my brain is functioning. Cartoons always sort you out. Batman and Spiderman. Saving the drunk from his hangover. Drunken ping-pong game. Before we set off to see Katy and Aaron. Oddly me and sassy arrive on time. Which is a once in a blue moon thing and should be treated as such. Hang about burn a dart whilst waiting for the others, a little cold but cant complain cause the snow looks incredible. Their Airbnb host told them of an amazing restaurant which are off to check out if it is as good as they had made out. Only problem i have i am really struggling with alcohol abuse over the last few weeks. Difficult conversing, drinking and also eating. Beer shakes make it impossible to eat soup. All just falls off your spoon and usually onto your lap. Ordered this unbelievable good brie and beetroot salad. The freshness was next level. All round exceptional dish and so were the others. Duck, goose and fried chicken dishes all going round the table. Very very slowly I manage to drink my beer and attempt to consume the wine that has now arrived at the table. Then conversation switches to Palinka. But cause we all slightly toasted its not a regular conversation at all. Truly fucked up actually. Grandma in the bathtub stewing in her juices. Only way to brew Palinka. Not sure how we came to this conclusion but its all fun and games. Then just the difficulty of splitting the bill and how much is acceptable to tip. Such big notes confusing the life out of everyone. Ruin bars. Budapest’s thing. Just an old building with a bar in it. Pretty straight forward but they are good. Have a draw to them. Nice grungy vibe. Kurplung is the one for us tonight. Can be a bit hit and miss but it was a top one. Had a life band. Alpaca beat. Fucking quality. Beers and a couple more shots pick me out of my hangover lull. Apart from Unicum that stuff is truly awful. Sassy the dick buying it. But you cant complain when its free, well not that much. It was a struggle to get it down. Back to the hostel to say bye to baby Balint. And sling down a few more cans. Pack my shit. Then pass the fuck out. Hopefully wake up in time for my flight or you know hopefully not as id rather not go home.

Relaxing at the thermal baths

Day of the baths. Drinking wine with your Chinese breakie. Budapest of course. Visit the Hungarian mum. Working in a fancy ass bar. Splash a bit of cash for sassy’s birthday. Fancy beers on me. Doesn’t sit well with the beer. Pop to the second hand shop. Acquire a peach of a jacket. Fucking sticking to the table. Cunts spilling drinks. Bastards. Canny waste alcohol. Arrive at the baths a little toasted. Random brewski along the way. Got to keep a nice alcohol level. Cheapest local baths possible. Odd for me now not having a budget. Just blowing money. Like nothing. Fuck I’m a drunk cunt. Last few days of travels got to smash them. The baths are an odd one. Warm water, cold water, sauna, steam room. Not the biggest fan of them. Especially when you start getting a hangover midway through. Rather just sit in a Finnish sauna. Warm water is just too much for me. And the sulphur water smells dreadful. Healthy for you but dear God, awful. Nearly spewed trying to swallow it. Baths done subtly relaxed and refreshed. Off to become a complete fucking mess again. Retox happy hour is the one. Meet Alex (American woman we met at lake bled). She’s there with her friends she met travelling. Slam a considerable amount of beer. Accidentally drink a dreg and have to make a quick stop a the toilet for a little spew. Met old mate from the first time I was in Budapest. He’s still teaching English. Takes us to a cheaper bar round the corner. Then back to Edison and ink to meet up with Viki my Hungarian mum. Have a couple little beers there and a couple shots for sassy’s bday. Then the real bar crawl begins. Had to go to the awful fucking English pub. So tacky and bad. Doesn’t even look a English pub. Cant even sit on the chair in the end, its too irritating. We need to go somewhere else and drink. This place is awful. Go to the dirty local Hungarian bar. Cheap as fuck. And surprisingly a nice place. No English spoken ever in there though. Shots and beers super cheap, so a little language barrier is nothing. After I black the fuck out and wake up in-between two mattresses completely naked.