The end of the line. Almost 2 years of travel coming to an end. That’s all folks. Fuck that not living in England. Give it a month or 2 earn some dollar and get the fuck out of there. Have to get a tram and a bus to airport. Why are airports always such a bitch to get too. But before that obviously me and sassy have to get a beer before we go. Smoke the last of my darts. Took an hour not too bad. Only 600huf, so cant complain. Fuck load cheaper than a taxi. Passed the time in the airport watching a woman assemble mannequins. That was a first. So you know travel does broaden your horizon. The mannequin is now staring at me so I may have to move. Nip to duty free pick up a bottle of Palinka for my pops. Kind of expensive but might as well waste the last of my forint. The currency is fucking useless. 1euro is 310forint. Like that shit is complicated to work out. 2 planes taking a total of 7 hours for me to get home. Fuck that’s shit. Pissin lay overs. In Hamburg as well. And of course I get the fat cunt sat next to me. Potato head stuck on a blob of fat. Oh god the wife looks like a heart attack. And once again the headphones I acquired don’t work. Considering papa smurf paid 120euro for this flight it is wank. Piece of bread and a Haribo isn’t quite cutting the mustard. Old mate inhaled his. Not sure if he even chewed. Pretty sure he’s a mong, been fannying around for 10mins trying to hang up a little bag. Dropping it, trying to pick it up, getting between the tray table and his stomach. Couldn’t even go for a piss cause the fat fuck had fallen asleep and wouldn’t wake up. Some odd people on this flight. Someone is just videoing clouds. A cloud enthusiast. Sitting in a German airport for 4 hours. Not a lot to do but sit and wait. And wait. Walk around then wait somewhere else. All the fun here. Some more passport checks. Then wait till my plane arrives. Only 2 more hours to go. Dear God this is torturous. Was a dick and forgot to take my book out of my bag. Fucking nothing to do. Bored out of my nut. Really irritated that I didn’t brush my teeth either. All about oral hygiene. Finally made it. Now just this flight a tram, another tram then a walk home. My fault really did say I don’t need a lift home. So I had to get a tram for almost 2 hours and then a 20min walk. Back home see the parents. Eat some food and get back to normality. Don’t like it already. I’m leaving as soon as.
Woke up in a state. Looked like a complete junkie. Especially with my eyes red as fuck. Definitely had the aesthetics of a heroin addict. Stumbling down the street to get a Chinese with sassy. It is a decent Asian food place. Back to basement to smack out for the rest of the day or at least till my brain is functioning. Cartoons always sort you out. Batman and Spiderman. Saving the drunk from his hangover. Drunken ping-pong game. Before we set off to see Katy and Aaron. Oddly me and sassy arrive on time. Which is a once in a blue moon thing and should be treated as such. Hang about burn a dart whilst waiting for the others, a little cold but cant complain cause the snow looks incredible. Their Airbnb host told them of an amazing restaurant which are off to check out if it is as good as they had made out. Only problem i have i am really struggling with alcohol abuse over the last few weeks. Difficult conversing, drinking and also eating. Beer shakes make it impossible to eat soup. All just falls off your spoon and usually onto your lap. Ordered this unbelievable good brie and beetroot salad. The freshness was next level. All round exceptional dish and so were the others. Duck, goose and fried chicken dishes all going round the table. Very very slowly I manage to drink my beer and attempt to consume the wine that has now arrived at the table. Then conversation switches to Palinka. But cause we all slightly toasted its not a regular conversation at all. Truly fucked up actually. Grandma in the bathtub stewing in her juices. Only way to brew Palinka. Not sure how we came to this conclusion but its all fun and games. Then just the difficulty of splitting the bill and how much is acceptable to tip. Such big notes confusing the life out of everyone. Ruin bars. Budapest’s thing. Just an old building with a bar in it. Pretty straight forward but they are good. Have a draw to them. Nice grungy vibe. Kurplung is the one for us tonight. Can be a bit hit and miss but it was a top one. Had a life band. Alpaca beat. Fucking quality. Beers and a couple more shots pick me out of my hangover lull. Apart from Unicum that stuff is truly awful. Sassy the dick buying it. But you cant complain when its free, well not that much. It was a struggle to get it down. Back to the hostel to say bye to baby Balint. And sling down a few more cans. Pack my shit. Then pass the fuck out. Hopefully wake up in time for my flight or you know hopefully not as id rather not go home.
Day of the baths. Drinking wine with your Chinese breakie. Budapest of course. Visit the Hungarian mum. Working in a fancy ass bar. Splash a bit of cash for sassy’s birthday. Fancy beers on me. Doesn’t sit well with the beer. Pop to the second hand shop. Acquire a peach of a jacket. Fucking sticking to the table. Cunts spilling drinks. Bastards. Canny waste alcohol. Arrive at the baths a little toasted. Random brewski along the way. Got to keep a nice alcohol level. Cheapest local baths possible. Odd for me now not having a budget. Just blowing money. Like nothing. Fuck I’m a drunk cunt. Last few days of travels got to smash them. The baths are an odd one. Warm water, cold water, sauna, steam room. Not the biggest fan of them. Especially when you start getting a hangover midway through. Rather just sit in a Finnish sauna. Warm water is just too much for me. And the sulphur water smells dreadful. Healthy for you but dear God, awful. Nearly spewed trying to swallow it. Baths done subtly relaxed and refreshed. Off to become a complete fucking mess again. Retox happy hour is the one. Meet Alex (American woman we met at lake bled). She’s there with her friends she met travelling. Slam a considerable amount of beer. Accidentally drink a dreg and have to make a quick stop a the toilet for a little spew. Met old mate from the first time I was in Budapest. He’s still teaching English. Takes us to a cheaper bar round the corner. Then back to Edison and ink to meet up with Viki my Hungarian mum. Have a couple little beers there and a couple shots for sassy’s bday. Then the real bar crawl begins. Had to go to the awful fucking English pub. So tacky and bad. Doesn’t even look a English pub. Cant even sit on the chair in the end, its too irritating. We need to go somewhere else and drink. This place is awful. Go to the dirty local Hungarian bar. Cheap as fuck. And surprisingly a nice place. No English spoken ever in there though. Shots and beers super cheap, so a little language barrier is nothing. After I black the fuck out and wake up in-between two mattresses completely naked.
Day on the train. Drinking, snacking and talking rubbish. Met an interesting character. Originally from Bosnia. But now lived in the states and had an Murican family. Which made it very odd he used the N word. Made even worse by the way he said it. Stunned all 3 of us. Only thing me and sassy could think to do was get out the chips and dip. Which worked very well. Tortilla chips with a horse radish cream cheese dip. Exceptional food. Really pulled that out of the bag. Lidl was a little treat to found. Old mate was slightly racist or probably very but he did insist constantly buying us beers. So we got nicely toasted on the train. Then we decided to kick it up a notch by trying to make a didn’t in the 3 litres of red wine we brought with us. Which obviously led to us talking absolute shit on the train. People moving cause of this stuff, shit was so dry it was like a dry finger. Anal related. Everybody is thinking about a dry finger. Seeping into the dreams. Definitely should hasten your liquor consumption. We arrive get to the hostel. I sneak in my old one and sassy goes somewhere else. Meet back up for happy hour at Retox. Get very sloppy drunk there as always. Its a mad house. Some reason they take us to an arcade. Me and this girl fuck off cause we’re not 12. Get some darts and beers at a shop. Starts hitting on me. But then cause I’m an idiot and awful with names she fucks off cause I couldn’t remember hers. My bad but fuck it. Just to another bar and get fucked up. Perfectly being a drunken mess. The usual me in Budapest.
Searching for a gorge in the middle of no where. Slippery as a squirting cunt. Water was clear as day. Did fancy a swim. Shame that is cold as. Pretty devastating. But still lovely to look at for a while. Lovely little water fall. So still and clear, exquisite. Was a nice stroll there and back. Walking through little villages, farms and forests to get to the place. Not the best idea to do it slightly hung-over/drunk and in loafers. Which are now ruined from the rain and mud and snow. Fucked it. They not built for this shit. The village was odd. Not a single shop or pub. How can you not have a local. Only one crappy restaurant which was expensive as fuck. But nice to see some nature again, do get tired of the cities. Need to be able to walk around in woods sometimes. Back to hostel to get a cook on. Pasta. Got the veggies on the go, for a bit of health again. Messed up forgot the shops shut at 5. No alcohol to be found. Luckily old mate that owns the hostel also owns a bar. Takes us down the road to his pub. All closed down due to reservations. Down into the basement of the place to the storage. Starts pull out bottle after bottle. Beer, cider, wine, liquor. Passing out at the diner table and then the common couch. Having to taken to bed by another guest. Irish guy, bit odd put nice enough. Mixing alcohol always fucks you up.
Venturing to the natural beauty of the lakes. Lake bled is our destination. Hour or so on the bus. But first we got to get supplies for the next couple days. We discovered an Aldi which as always is cheap as fuck. It is called Hofer though. Other than that exactly the same. Cheap as fuck and good products. Pasta and health is the aim of the shopping run. Fuck loads of veggies and some pasta. Strolling round Hofer still slightly drunk and sleep deprived. Carrying my giant ass backpack. And a big fucking basket of food. Sweatin like a cunt. The big ass debate of should we get 10litre sack of goon or just be sensible and get a smaller bottle of wine. In the end oddly for us the small bottle is ours. Which was a bad idea in the end cause obviously we run out and need a lot more. Fucked it up. But never mind being a grown-up means you got figure stuff out for yourself. Which sucks dick. But any-who. Get to the bus station, return tickets which is a new one for me. Some pastries on the bus to help us out. Definitely should of brought some water along for the journey. Only an hour we can manage. Love views of the mountains along the bus ride, its a crazy beautiful country. Still snow on the mountains from the last couple weeks. Do fucking love snow. Even though I’m not rocking the best footwear for it. Loafers don’t give the best traction in snowy conditions. Met another Aussie cunt that was down for a mooch around the lake. Fucking beautiful view. Like 5km walk around the lake. And the lake is frozen over, we missed the real frozen though last week everyone was walking and ice skating on it. Which would of been skitz to do but now its just a little to thin to be safe. But still looks crazy as fuck. Aussie mate did a little walk and moonwalk on the ice. Took some ridiculous pictures for him. They’re madness the ice looked crazy, kept trying to break it along the way but no joy. Shit was too thick. Explore an odd abandon building walking round not actually finding shit. Having to walk on the biggest boards so we don’t fall through the ceiling. Shit was a bit sketchy. Fucking crazy views off the lake and mountains. Avoiding the nails and glass leaving the place. Slowly walking back to the hostel. Picking up some stuff at the supermarket on the way back. Soup and wine for the evening. Forgetting how big of alcoholics we are. Running out of booze. So we had to go to the bar down stairs to get a couple beers. Getting a free round cause some fuckers want to play poker. Great deal. Canny complain with that. Just move tables and get a free beverage. Back to the hostel talk some shit to people then hit the hay. Interesting night. But nothing special. Just another drunken adventure in a hostel.
The art of leaving a city when you miss the only bus. Head to the bar for wifi. And other important things. Beers and Pom Frittes. Witness a kiwi dying from a hangover. The real struggle begins for him. After the liquid breakfast has settled, he is functioning and we realise that we can just catch a train to Ljubljana. Night trains hoping for decent seats. Back to the pub for some more drinks and Burek. Pizza Burek is a treat. Not my fav. Can’t beat the classic spinach and cheese. Couple more beers and some darts. Having to half inch darts from confused Croatians. Getting a bit loose and a bit northern English confusing them with my language. Lovely lass, pretty as could be. Lent me some baci and then told me about Slovenia. How cool Ljubljana is. Fair play she wasn’t wrong. After the last round of beers, we head off to the station. Slightly wobbly legged but happy. Bun another dart. Find the train and climb aboard. Slip into first class and hope we don’t get kicked out. Sipping vodka and juice in the carriage. The hand written train ticket helped us get away with being in first class. First class living. After the voddy a little nap before we arrive. Ljubljana at night. Wandering round trying to find a hostel. Found one at last but its not 24hour reception. Upstairs to the kitchen. Maybe just get a couple hours sleep there. On 3 fucking wooden chairs not comfy but better than nothing. Then it got weird. Fucking weird guy comes in and just stares at us sleeping. Doesn’t say anything. Just stares. Freaks sassy out so we leave. The fucker continues to stare at us the entire time we are leaving and also out the window. Odd cunt. Probably took us to his rape dungeon. Trekking round Ljubljana in middle of the night whilst its pissing down. Finally find another place and the cunt tries to scam us 16€ a night each. Blow it out your ass. Get him down to 11€ which is shit but manageable. Get to the room, the joys of having to make your own bed. Fuck that just lay on the sheets. Don’t need covers. Uhh fuck its hot. Need to crack a window.